Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Jeff's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 28th, 2006
8:05 pm	NEWS FLASH Neighborhood NIMBYs shoot selves in foot Three blocks from my house in East Lansing stands a University apartment complex that is scheduled for demolition in about two weeks. I first heard of the plans to tear down University Village late last year on the Lansing television news. The report cited the inevitable mindless complaints that neighbors of college students have anywhere: that the redevelopment would aim to reduce problems with noise, traffic, and that great Satan DENSITY. Toward that end, the redevelopment calls for 304 total bedrooms, whereas 456 total one and two bedroom units occupy the site right now. My neighbors--whoever supposedly complained about U Village as it exists now--are jackasses who are going to get what they deserve. Why? Sometimes less is more. When the complex was last at full occupancy, nearly all the residents were married, foreigners, graduate students, or some combination of the three. Imagine yourself a typical, complacent middle class suburbanite living on idyllic Daisy Lane, a street parallel to my own Lilac Ave. How much noise are those demographic groups likely to produce? The replacement complex will feature four bedroom units targeted at upper-level undergrads. I will wager that most of the new neighbors will not be married or internationals, but rather red-blooded American college kids (predominantly of legal drinking age) who will be thrilled to party in their brand new, and therefore expensive, apartments. If you can afford to live in new construction, odds are good you'll have a car. Even when U Village was mostly occupied, not many residents appeared to own cars. I predict hot times in a couple of years. Bring on the sense of entitlement! POSTSCRIPT Personally, I think the redevelopment plan is a disgusting waste of space. I'd tear down University Village, sure. The buildings are squat and dumpy. But I'd rebuild with all new construction a minimum of four stories. And I'd severely restrict on-site parking. I'd also replace the laundry room with a new one, and add a small convenience store and dining facility. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
11:32 am	I'd want a refund Good news for animal rights as Chicago passes a citywide ban on the sale of foie gras, culinary delicacy allegedly derived from force-feeding ducks and geese "until their livers swell to 10 times normal size." Who needs to eat poultry liver? I find the Google ads following the article amusing, though. When I view the article, three are from vendors of foie gras, one links to a foie gras recipe, and the last, "Ducks Die Like This," has at least a glimmer of a conscience. (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
8:44 pm	outreach Watercolor twilight and a neon cotton candy sky. I am at peace tonight, if not at ease. Yesterday evening, author James Howard Kunstler spoke in Ann Arbor on themes he writes about in his book The Long Emergency. As a speaker, he is nothing if not confident. But I certainly have to question his effectiveness, and perhaps even his sincerity. The central thesis of his current nonfiction book and of his blog, updated weekly, is that the impending peak in worldwide oil production will lead to regression of the achievements of the industrial era, post-1850 or so. He advises Americans to prepare for a future of austerity, grossly diminished standards of living, and a forced return to strictly local economies. Globalization has no meaningful future, in his view, as the waves of turbulence that Peak Oil sends out will cause so much strife in every nation, industrialized and developing alike, that conflicts over local resources will divert the world's time and attention away from pursuing free trade and open markets. Food production in particular will be an overwhelming preoccupation for most societies, and even then Kunstler holds little hope for the ability of many, even most, of the world's people to feed themselves in the next few decades. Add in the ravages of disease and endemic climate change and his book has material sufficient for several years' worth of summer blockbusters. Kunstler would probably imagine the average American to take the very real threats he describes no more seriously than, say, The Day After Tomorrow from 2004. He will rudely confront accusations that he is a pessimist or a cynic (see the last exchange in this interview for an example). But having read all four of his nonfiction works on urban sprawl and its implications for the future, I don't hesitate to call him deeply contemptuous of Americans as a whole, and relentlessly so. This is where I begin to get critical of his motives. Kunstler is in his mid 50s. In his writings and speeches he has declared his intention to endure the Long Emergency from his base in Saratoga Springs, NY, the type of reasonably-sized town he believes will become the foundation for a radically different society of the future. He's also said that he doesn't expect to live more than another thirty years. Thus, while he has plenty of ideas about what can meaningfully be done both to prepare for and to live through the coming crisis, he's equally adamant in his beliefs that Americans are too ignorant, stupid, complacent, selfish--you name the pejorative--to do anything about it. That is, he tells us what to do, but goes on, almost tauntingly, to say that we're never going to do it. Thinking critically, I'm beginning to hold Kunstler in less regard. His tactics are well established by now; his material never changes in any significant way. He loudly repeats the same points while making it clear that he might as well be pissing in the wind, since he knows we're just not going to get it. He insists that he doesn't advocate societal collapse, mass famine, or genocide, that those are simply his sincere beliefs about where the United States and the world are headed. Still, I wonder. The autobiographical essays on his web site have bitterness to spare. It is no great stretch to view him as a misanthrope, especially once you've heard him speak in person. Thus, I'm led to conclude that whatever his pretenses are to being a revolutionary thinker, or someone who really sees where the course of human events is headed, he obscures the meaningful signal of his message behind so much noise. It's scarcely different from the polarization of talk radio or cable news or any editorial page. The bottom line is, it sells. And yeah, up until now I've bought it pretty consistently. But haven't we become sick of all the shouting yet? As recently as a week ago I suggested to a friend that his book might someday be understood as the Silent Spring of its generation. I seriously doubt that now. I think he'd be happier to be proven right than wrong. It'd sell more copies of his next book, which undoubtedly would be titled I Told You So! On a related note, it is important that we not totally ignore today's rally by the National Socialist Movement, a neo-Nazi organization. Be mindful of domestic hate groups such as these white supremicists. Among their agenda items include vehement opposition to immigrants, blacks, Jews, and homosexuals. Kunstler implores us to be prepared for the unthinkable as the oil runs out and economic life as we know it implodes. How did the original Nazi party ascend to power in 1930s Germany? A critical mass of half-starved, bankrupt individuals rallied behind a leader who offerred a scapegoat as a source of the troubles. Might the same thing happen in another ostensibly advanced industrialized society - perhaps 2030s America? One must wonder. Today, the NSM seems to consist of deeply insecure young men, many in their 20s (including the group's spokesman, 28-year-old Bill White) and on the economic margins, looking fearfully at a world already in flux and desperately seeking something to believe in, something external to account for their own failure or inability to adapt in a positive way to change. This, at a time when the overall economy both domestically and worldwide has scarcely been stronger. Can you imagine a profoundly different scenario thirty years hence, if economic growth has permanently stalled while the population keeps increasing? Can you imagine a homegrown supremacy movement picking up steam? Can you imagine the members of today's NSM, now in their 20s and 30s, someday instead in their 50s and 60s, the age of the most powerful leaders in just about every field of American society? It ought to terrify you. I suppose that's Kunstler's point all along. And while still radical, The Long Emergency cannot be read the same way now as it was even one year ago when it was originally published. Though loud and obnoxious, the fundamentals of what JHK has to say are just too important to ignore. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 27th, 2006
11:09 am	I trust he said this with a straight face? According to CNN, President Bush commented as follows on Hamas's victory in the Palestinian elections: "Sometimes democracy produces undesirable results." Current Mood: speechless (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 21st, 2006
6:01 pm	failing college, I make my living elsehow I have a new Plan. I will become a Writer. I will combine a poignant first-person account of my years of Substance Abuse with an easy to understand explanation of the formation of the Universe. My memoir will be known as Five Million Easy Little Pieces and it will get me on Oprah. Plus, I will only make stuff up on 4% of the pages. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
7:16 pm	notice an EDIT of previous entry Good resolutions are realistic, and the last one I listed earlier today isn't going to happen. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
9:28 am	I lied (Resolved in 2006) Looks like I was wrong when I said I didn't have any resolutions for the new year. I hadn't planned on making any, but they appeared just the same. Resolved, to write for personal enjoyment and enrichment; to realize that I worry as much as anyone, to catch myself in the act, and to STOP; to exercise regularly but not obsessively - all things in moderation; to respect my limits, since I know them pretty well already; to listen to less NPR, an hour per weekday and no more, and to follow the news more selectively in general; to stop my perceptions of people and events from negatively influencing my thoughts and actions; to be less reflexively judgmental; to reflect every day that life is a gift, and that the world is a glorious place if I allow it to be. It's worth a shot. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
11:37 am	dreams again Last night I dreamt that I began a new job, something professional for which I was hopelessly underqualified. I have no clue how I got the job, because I didn't know where I was, why I was there, or what I was supposed to do. The work space was a large open room, without so much as cubicles; it resembled a computer lab with individual work stations in rows or clusters, and not a whole lot else. I was absolutely confounded, and a bit panicky because I feared a supervisor would soon be making rounds and find out what a fraud I was. Very strangely, I was accompanying Marc, a housemate from three years ago on Woodlawn, about whom I very rarely think. But there he was. I felt a little better when I saw a large group of new hires just like me taking a tour of the business. Maybe everyone was in the same situation I was. Marc appeared to know what he was doing, and I resented him for that, but I contented myself with the Internet until suddenly, I found myself back at my parents' house. Here things become weird. Marc and I were both at the house, and a young woman had joined us. I don't have a name for her, but she strongly resembled a contestant I remember from a recent "Jeopardy!" episode. She and I watched as Marc attempted to jump across some railroad tracks that were apparently just across the family room of the house. He didn't quite make it. His foot was run over by a passing commuter train and he began hollering in pain. I squirmed, not having much stomach for gruesome injuries, but happily no blood was visible. He went down the hall to get treatment, and soon retired to bed - in my room. Unknown others were already sleeping in the spare bedroom, and that left the master suite. The "Jeopardy!" woman was getting ready for bed in that room, and said I was welcome to share the bed with her. I declined and settled on the living room couch for the night. I have the sinking feeling that any competent psychoanalyst would have a field day with what I just wrote. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
6:49 pm	central's elite It's the occasional news item like today's circuit court sentence roster that has me wickedly eager to attend future high school reunions. Notably: "Steven John Payne, 24, of Spanish Oaks Street, was sentenced by Schaefer to five years of probation, $28,478 in victim restitution, 30 days in jail with credit for one day served and entry into KPEP for operating a chop shop in June in Kalamazoo." Anybody remember Steve Payne? Payne-in-the-ass, I always liked to call him. He was a perpetual fuckup. Sounds like he acquired a stolen car and dismantled it for parts. On the off chance that someone from the class of 2001 organizes a five-year reunion, I'm definitely going. How much gossip must there be that never even makes the papers? I'd like to hear others' opinions regarding high school reunions, since it's a subject I've thought about lately. My feeling is that our class won't have one until ten years out. Thoughts? (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 11th, 2005
7:39 pm	this could be the start of something Wow. Unidentified benefactors have funded an incredible scholarship program for a school district that could use a boost. Beginning with next spring's graduating class, all high school graduates from the Kalamazoo Public Schools will be eligible for substantial college scholarships. K-through-12 attendees will receive full tuition to any public university or community college in the state of Michigan. The program pro-rates the amount of the scholarship based on length of residency in the district. Living and going to school in the district for a minimum of four years of high school still translates to a 65% scholarship, applicable to all tuition and fees for four years. I heard a brief mention of this on Michigan Radio state news this morning, but the Kalamazoo Gazette has several stories exploring the possible implications of this program. Wow. I think it's hard to appreciate just how much potential this investment has to change the future of the city and the entire area. KPS has been shedding students for years and suffering from the resulting cuts in state funding. How much more attractive must this make the city's schools for anyone considering a move to the area? What must the adminstrators be thinking in the big suburban districts responsible for much of the defection of families from KPS - I'm thinking Portage, Mattawan, Vicksburg here. Most immediately is the tremendous incentive to stay put for any family considering a move or a transfer that would take them out of the district. Next, it's easy to imagine a boost to housing values districtwide. Then, too, families moving to the area - particularly those with children not yet of school age - will have a very good reason to look at buying in-district. Demand for both existing and new housing within the district seems certain to rise. The impacts will be significant, and they will be long-term. I make no secret of my fondness for the city. Increasingly, I think it would have been much better for me had I grown up there and gone to city schools. This is the best news from home I've heard in a long, long time. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
7:19 pm	ANGER management I'm never going to murder anybody. It's doubtful that I'll ever even raise a hand in violence against another person. While I feel the impulses plenty, in my more honest moments I know the follow-through just isn't in me. Fantasies are not harmless, I'm afraid. And so sometimes the best thing to do, for the sake of my long-term mental health, is probably just to walk away. Or click another link, as is more typically the case. Or just put down the fucking Wall Street Journal editorial page. It is far better for everyone involved to build up, rather than to tear down. Related note: I donated blood today. My blood pressure was 102/60. (As I understand it, this is nearly "perfect" in the sense of being neither too high nor too low; will anyone with more medical knowledge than I possess correct me if I'm wrong?) How this is possible, I have no earthly idea. Am I not really as angry as I imagine? I'd like to think so. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 29th, 2005
12:48 pm	another night Notes on the party: I didn't have a bad time. Tedious and pointless, yes. But nothing bad happened. The question remains open whether it's preferable to be alone in a crowd, or to be alone by yourself. I should find a book club or an aspiring writer's group, which seems to me the closest thing to the midpoint between total hermitude and beer-fueled mania. I stayed three or four hours and then tried to leave. My hostess would not abide by my walking back some 2.5 miles to my house in the cold, so I was tracked down about a block away and driven home. But I didn't want a ride, I wanted to fucking walk. So instead of making a scene, I submitted, but once at my house, I turned around and walked a broad loop around campus, and stayed out in the dreaded cold for a good hour. To hell with the good intentions of others. Nobody will help me until I decide I'm ready. Tonight will be another party, this time back in K'zoo, at Dan's house on Parkview. This time I do genuinely expect to enjoy myself. There will be a bonfire, which should help. Current Mood: smug (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 28th, 2005
5:53 pm	doctor, this medicine tastes like Milwaukee's Best! I don't want to go out to a Halloween party tonight. I suppose I will anyway. I've been invited, which is always nice, even though it's not an exclusive affair. I won't know but one or maybe two people there. I don't have a costume and I'm not going to get one. I won't be drinking any of the keg beer that'll be present. I'll refrain from consuming any other intoxicants that may be present (not expecting there to be any in the first place, but better to cover all bases). I hope it won't be as awkward and unpleasant an experience as I fear. Then why bother? (Why, why, why?) I'd happily waste another night here reading a library book, or web browsing. But I think I risk losing all sense of how to socially interact with another human being if I don't at least show up. So. What's the worst that could happen? - The experience is as awkward and unpleasant as I fear. Possible but doubtful; if so, I'll leave. - I am accosted on the street nearby, and robbed, or at least viciously beaten. Possible, but also doubtful. - I don't have a great time, but at least I'm not alone. Most likely outcome. At least in Soviet Russia, people with no ambition didn't have to feel so guilty about it. Blah. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
2:22 pm	exhuming Randy A long time ago, even though I didn't realize it at the time, I was very, very angry. And I perceived myself as too weak to take actions that would directly address the sources of my anger, so instead, I wrote a story wherein I projected everything that made me angry upon a character I created. His name was Randy, and his existence was ten thousand times more miserable than my life ever was, even on a bad day. I wrote intermittently for close to three years and haven't touched the text since ninth grade. I suspect that having an outlet into which I could pour all my frustrations and anger kept me from ultimately lashing out and stabbing a bunch of kids to death some day. Maybe that's where Randy was headed but I never took him there. I think I will start writing more therapeutic fiction. But I want to note a fundamental shift in my attitude. Isn't it odd that when I was upset with other people, I chose to abuse a manifestation of myself instead of seeking a more direct revenge? The closest I ever came was allowing Randy to lapse into a recurring daydream wherein he was a muscle-bound bully killer. And even that dream usually only began when he'd been beaten unconscious by a vicious attacker, or mob of attackers. And the dream didn't have a happy ending, either. How odd that I played a game of blame-the-victim, when I was the one who felt victimized. I intend to correct that mistaken way of thinking when I start writing again. I'm still very, very angry. But I'm also more aware. I have an advantage that Randy and I both lacked years ago; I know, generally, who really deserves to be punished. And I have a greater appreciation for the craft of writing. I'm ready to pick up a sharpened pen and really let the killing begin - with style! Current Mood: satisfied (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
12:31 pm	this just in I love you, I hate you, Ann Arbour: Liberals offended, film at eleven. I feel like the sensitivometer could stand to be turned down several notches. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 11th, 2005
2:30 pm	ick After rotting away in an air-conditioned apartment all summer, I am now paying for it... with interest, compounded. First post from Michigan State! I like my classes. I don't like the campus or the city nearly as much. Too much useless open space separates any two possible destinations one could have. UMich certainly trumps "us" on this point: 40 acres is not too much land to cross on a regular basis, and that's the core of central campus there. Here there is no core, just buildings haphazardly arranged amidst parking lots, endlessly winding roads and walkways, and grass, grass, grass. (...) That grass is now mostly scorched a golden brown since the weather here since the end of August has been following a distinctly ass-backwards pattern. Namely, it has gotten steadily warmer, not cooler, as autumn approaches on the calendar. According to this, the average high/low is supposed to be around 74/50 or so. Today it is pushing 90. Tomorrow and Monday, if the forecast holds, we will have record high temperatures. Arg. It is ideal for the endless journey that seems to be my trips to campus and back. At least I like my classes all right. And the library, where I am now, is halfway air-conditioned. (I acknowledge that I am a wuss.) Sweat on, everybody. Drop me a line. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
12:07 pm	what I've been up to Haven't posted in a while. So I googled myself to see what I've been doing lately, and found the following statements (all true, of course). * Jeff Dean is an engineering and IT professional currently writing a Linux certification handbook for O'Reilly and Associates. * Jeff Dean is currently in his 15th year of service as Executive Director and General Counsel for the International Society of Explosives Engineers. * Jeff Dean is not a member of any public groups. * I think that Jeff Dean is right. * Jeff dean is onder andere de schrijver van de stukken over "Mapreduce", ofwel "Simplified Data Processing on Large Clusters". * Jeff Dean is without question the most indepth [sic] knowledge available about Google on the web today. * That Jeff Dean is a felon convicted of computer embezzlement - and is also responsible for our current election software is important! * Jeff Dean is an associate with RBC Capital Markets. * Esquire says "Jeff Dean is the best keyboard player I've ever worked with." * Jeff Dean is offline. Who knew? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
1:28 am	a man after my own heart You know what can be fun to read? Circuit court sentences. The best: Richard Leon Hatcher, 73, of Bernies Court, was sentenced by Schma to six months of probation for delivery of marijuana in September in Portage. What if this poor old man has glaucoma and can't get relief any other way? What then?? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:01 am	perspective (what I like to hear!) Road construction bitch bitch gas prices moan bitch whine Read the article below. The last lines are beautiful. "Children around the world don't have access to clean water, and we're worried about a road. We live like royalty compared to the rest of the world. Life is inconvenient. Get a grip, people." Amen. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
5:30 pm	*gasp* A note from the Fishbowl on campus: The heat is on full blast, as if it were twenty outside and not seventy. Add that to the greenhouse effect the Fishbowl always gets and it feels like 85, at least. It is not a pleasant environment. (3 Comments |Comment on this)